Fun
@funandjokes

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Fun
2019-06-11 

. Stand tall and proud. Drink plenty of water. Remember your roots

(Advice from a tree)
@funandjokes
Fun
2019-06-07 

Did you hear the one about the skeleton who couldn't go to the party?

He had no-BODY to go with.
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Fun
2019-06-02 

An English professor told her students that there would be no excuse for not showing up for their final exam, except for serious injury, illness, or a death in the student's immediate family.

A smartass jock in the back of the room asked:
- What about extreme sexual exhaustion?
The entire class did its best to stifle their laughter. When silence was restored, the teacher smiled sympathetically at the student, shook her head, and sweetly said:
- You can write with your other hand.
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Fun
2019-06-01 

. Stand tall and proud. Drink plenty of water. Remember your roots

(Advice from a tree)
@funandjokes
Fun
2019-05-21 

A Sunday school teacher is concerned that his students might be a little confused about Jesus, so he asks his class, "Where is Jesus today?"

Steven raises his hand and says, "He's in Heaven."
Mary answers, "He's in my heart."
Little Johnny waves his hand furiously and blurts out, "He's in our bathroom!"
The surprised teacher asks Little Johnny how he knows this.
"Well," Little Johnny says, "every morning, my father gets up, bangs on the bathroom door and yells 'Jesus Christ, are you still in there?!'"
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Fun
2019-05-19 

Q: What is the difference between a leech and a lawyer? A:

The leech stops sucking you dry after you're dead.
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Fun
2019-05-18 

Did you hear the one about the skeleton who couldn't go to the party?

He had no-BODY to go with.
@funandjokes
Fun
2019-05-17 

- Dad, give me a Galaxy S5? - What's the magic word? - Rachel. - What Rachel?

- Your mistress.
- What color shall I buy? Do you need a case?
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Fun
2019-05-13 

A Jew, a Catholic and a Mormon are sitting around talking about their families. The Jewish guy says:

- I have four sons. One more boy and I can have a basketball team.
The Catholic says:
- Well, I have eight sons one more, and I'll have me a baseball team.
Not to be outdone, the Mormon says:
- I've got 17 wives. One more hole and I'll have myself a golf course.
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Fun
2019-05-04 

A guy burned both of his ears... so they were asking him at the hospital how it happened. He said:

-I was ironing my clothing and the phone rang... So, instead of the phone I picked up the iron and burned my ear.
-But how the heck did you burn the other ear? - the doctor asked.
-They called back.
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